TIME

          Time, one of the few things we can’t control. I just finished reading, The Time Keeper, by Mitch Albom.  The author presents a fictional story about the life of Father Time, and it’s a remarkable display of how our lives are controlled by the clock.  Time is so precious, and it moves at its own pace.  Since reading the book, I have noticed how preoccupied and unsatisfied I am with the pace of time.  Hurry up, slow down, get here quick, take your time, hustle.  If Father tTime was real and trying to answer each of my requests, then he would need medication.    

                I was thinking about how fast the school year is going, and I am so conflicted.  I can’t wait for the next break, especially summer break .  All you teachers out there know what I mean.  I love my job, but I love my breaks too!  I want the year to hurry up and be over.  Then, I think about my baby girl, and I want time to stop in its tracks.  I don’t want to wish her time away.  She is in the third grade.  Where has the time gone?  For every reason to want time to speed up, there is a reason to want time to slow down.  Elijah is four years old, and I asked him to stay little tonight.  I want my time with my kids to creep, but it just keeps passing faster and faster.  Why do we worry so much about something that we have no control over?

                We never seem to have enough time, unless we’re in the middle of something unpleasant.  Today at Kynady’s football game, I caught myself watching the clock.  I even said out loud once, “come on clock, keep running”.  To my defense, it was freezing cold and Elijah was whining and crying.  Then, I remembered that this was her last game of the season.  Some of you may not believe this, but I am so happy that Kynady has found something that she can be passionate about, even if it’s cheerleading.  I just want her to be active and involved.  Cheerleading may or may not be her thing.  It’s still too early to tell. But if she’s going to be a cheerleader, then I want her to be the best cheerleader that she can possibly be.  That’s what it's all about.  I never thought I would ever say that, just so you know.

                When it comes to our adoption, the time is creeping.  It just can’t happen fast enough.  I want my baby here yesterday! Everyone wants to know “when”.  I want to know when.  All I can say is that it’s going to be a while.  I just want to get my child out of there.  Another hurricane!  UGH!  It is taking so long for things to progress that it doesn’t seem like the time will ever come.  But I know it will because my God is in control.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”.  There will be a time to rejoice, but right now is our time to wait. 

Preparing our Fields for Rain

           October 31^st is the big day.  Halloween.  That’s  the day the new Haitian adoption laws will go into effect.  Ultimately, the new laws will make things better for children and families in Haiti, but we were really hoping to get our paperwork submitted so we wouldn’t have to deal with the mess.  We thought we were going to make it, but that just didn’t happen.    Even though our dossier has been in Haiti for several weeks, it will not be submitted before the new laws take effect.  The major issue surrounding the new law is that IBESR will be selecting 3 agencies, and only 3 agencies to process adoptions in Haiti.  If our agency is not selected, then we will have to be transferred to another agency in order to complete our adoption.  That’s not a big deal other than it could hold us up a bit. 

          Basketball started for real this week.  I don’t really know what “for real” means since we never really stop, but we’re in full swing.  I am constantly thinking about ways to motivate and encourage the girls.  Basketball is the hardest sport to play.  It’s one of the most physically and emotionally demanding sports because of its pace, and the season is very long.  On a small scale, it can be compared to this adoption.  One of the quotes I have been using lately comes from the movie, Facing the Giants.  I bet I have said, “I want your best”, over a hundred times throughout conditioning and the first two days of practice.  So many people are satisfied with being in the middle of the pack, on the basketball team and in life.  God wants our best.  He wants my best in everything I do, whether it be yard darts or homework or mowing the yard.  He doesn’t want our best compared to everyone else.  He wants our best compared to what WE are capable of doing.  That’s part of the speech I gave my girls at the end of practice.  I was reflecting on what I said to the girls this evening, which led me to think about another huge theme in that movie, FAITH.  If you’ll remember, the couple in that movie wanted a baby so bad.  One thing that has stuck with me from that is when he talks about “preparing your fields for rain”, which comes from the Bible.  If you’re going to ask for rain, then have enough faith to prepare your fields.  I pray that I can have that kind of faith.   God will come through for us, even though we don’t understand the timing of it all.  I know that every time there is a delay, God is protecting us or our child from something, and I thank Him for that.  Everyone wants to know how much longer and I do to.  We have to have faith that God is at work and this will happen exactly when it’s supposed to happen.  It seems so far away, but all we can do is prepare our fields for rain.   

Racism is UGLY!

          I knew it was coming.  I just thought I was prepared.  I have researched transracial adoptions. I’ve read every book, study, magazine article, blog, and the list goes on.  I know we live in a racist world, and I have witnessed racism in all kinds of ways.  I really didn’t want to include this in my blog, but I can’t shake it, and maybe writing this will help me let go of it.  It’s real, that’s for sure.  Well, I lost my cool.  I know that’s not so hard for some of you to believe, but I can get in psycho mode rather quickly when I feel like my kids need to be protected.  It’s a passion or adrenaline rush that’s unexplainable.  Some of you mothers know what I’m talking about.  I can’t rid myself of the anger and the burn coming from the pit of my soul.  For someone to suggest that an innocent child is less of a human being because he/she is black makes me want to SCREAM.  For those of you who think racism doesn’t exist, you are living in a hole.  Racism is real, and it’s ugly.

          This blog has been such a positive experience for me that I really didn’t want to even mention this little blurb of negativity.  All that I will say is that some people can’t understand why we would want to adopt a “black” child.  I won’t get into the details because they really don’t matter.  The bottom line is that many people think they are entitled or better than others or privileged because of the color of their skin.  God led us to Haiti because that country is the poorest country in the world, and it just so happens that the people there are black.  There are thousands of children in Haiti sitting in orphanages, starving, and dying of diseases.  Are you telling me that a human being doesn’t deserve a better opportunity to survive just because he has dark skin?  Ignorance and lack of education are the only excuses I can think of that would make anyone think they are better than anyone else because of their race.  My son/daughter will be black, and he/she is MINE!  I will fight for my child, and I will protect him/her at all costs.  I understand that we will have to deal with racism from now until the end of time.  Bring it on!  It won't be easy, but I will do everything I can to teach my son/daughter to be proud and to be confident.  I want all my kids to know that we're in this together, no mattter what.

          We actually have some very encouraging news.  Our I600A (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition) has been approved.  That’s the form that pre-approves us to bring our son/daughter back into the United States.  The approval letter is called the I-171H letter.  Those forms are very important because adoptions in Haiti are very shaky at the moment.  Haiti is actually trying to clean up the adoption process a bit.  They are adding some adoption laws so they can become part of the Hague Convention, which will be a good thing in the long run.  However, if the president ratifies the Hague Convention before the laws are changed, then the US could refuse to allow its citizens to adopt from there.  My guess is that they do that to pressure the countries to get their laws passed quickly.  In the past, the US has allowed adoption to continue as long as the I600a has been approved.  So, we hope that even if the adoptions are stopped on the US end, we will be allowed to continue.    I know it’s confusing.  I don’t really understand all the ins and outs either.  The arrival of our dossier in Haiti is also a big deal.  We really need to get that submitted by Oct. 31^st because that’s when we think the new adoption laws could go into effect.   The new laws will limit the number of agencies/organizations allowed to work in Haiti, and we don’t know for sure if our agency will even be allowed to process adoptions.  Of course, they think they will be chosen, but no one knows for sure.  Adoption in Haiti is unpredictable, but we knew that from the start. We just have to know that God has this under control and He is working for us at this very moment.  God is good!  Keep the prayers coming!  The next step will be our referral.  Exciting!