Moments of Weakness

     For the record, 99 percent of the time, I am cool, calm and collected.  Well, make that about 90 percent since it’s basketball season.

     I have signed up for about a dozen adoption newsletters over the past two years.  They’re all very similar in that about once a week they send an email begging people to adopt.  They have all these reasons why adoption is the answer, and they almost always include pictures of beautiful little boys and girls. Well, I unsubscribed to every single one in a moment of anguish last week, only to have to go back thirty minutes later and re-subscribe to my favorites.  I think I could be losing my mind. Seriously. 

     I know there are hundreds of thousands of orphans.  I know there are children waiting.  I know that I can make a difference in this world.  That’s why it’s so frustrating.  I get these emails begging people to adopt with all these great reasons why it’s a good way to extend your family.  We already have so much invested in bringing one of those little faces home, but we’re having trouble getting this thing off the ground.  It’s like we’re stuck in the mud without a rope or a chain.  I thought, “I don’t even know who to blame for the inadequacy of the process, but don’t blame me.  I AM TRYING!!”  Thankfully, I had bookmarked most of my favorites, so it didn’t take me long to get back on the lists.  I felt so dumb.  I need those emails, and I need to look at those faces, and I need to be thankful that Brock and I are in a place in our lives in which we are able to be patient.  We have two beautiful children to keep us busy, and we have so many positive things going for us at the moment.  We have absolutely no reason to feel sorry for ourselves.

     I get frustrated from time to time, but I am truly at peace with where we are in our adoption process.  Before and immediately after our conference call last Wednesday, I was anxious and worried about all of the changes and uncertainty in Haiti.  Brock and I had even talked about changing countries.  Before the conference call, I sent in a question to the director asking for specific guidance or at least a professional opinion specific to our family.  I just wanted someone to say, “This is what’s best for your family”.  The director read my question to the group and suggested that we pray and ask God for guidance.  She said that the agency would be seeking God’s will in the decisions that they would be making and that we should seek God’s will for our own families.  She hit a home run with that one because I immediately felt a sense of trust in our agency. What a relief!  Thank God the director got it right.  She can’t make a decision that belongs to God.  I have absolutely no doubt that God has led us to Haiti. From my knees, I gave it back to Him and felt that peace that I had somehow lost in the days prior.  I opened my Bible, and the verse in bold, although it’s not in bold today, was James 1:2-4.  It says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  Thank you, Lord.   

Quotas

     Well, the title of my last blog post was “Rollercoaster”, but I want this to be clear to everyone. It’s not just any rollercoaster. It’s more like Space Mountain or Thunder Mountain or even the Screamin Delta Demon or Wabash Cannonball. The Scrambler or Gravitron isn’t in the same theme park. This rollercoaster is intense. We’re not just spinning in circles, we’re going upside down and all around, but we’ll eventually get to where we’re going. Our faith is stronger than ever, and we’re ready to keep fighting these small battles because we know the war has already been won. Here’s the latest.

     IBESR has expressed their intent to re-establish the adoption program in Haiti utilizing a quota of one dossier submission per accredited agency per month. There are over 300,000 orphans in Haiti and about 19 accredited agencies. Their purpose for the quota is to make sure the new system will work before getting a bunch of families involved, but it just doesn’t seem logical. For us, that means our paperwork could remain at rest in its current place on someone’s desk in Haiti for a few more months. For the orphanages, they simply can’t survive without the money coming in from adoptions. Orphanages will have to turn kids in need away, and that’s hard to imagine. Since our agency can only submit one dossier per month, they have chosen to use a committee to determine the order in which families will be allowed to proceed. It will not be a first come, first served situation, which would have worked out better for us. Instead of deciding which family gets to go first, they will be deciding which child will get to come home first, and then submit the family matched with that child. We are confident in our agency and their desire to seek God’s will in matching children with families, so we’re at peace with our place in line, wherever that may be. I’m not sure how they will be able to decide which child deserves priority, but I appreciate the idea of putting the children first.

     The quota system is ridiculous, but some of the other changes to IBESR’s policies and procedures make more sense. Before the new policies and procedures, Referrals were made rather quickly, and then the dossiers for both the child and the family were sent together to IBESR, who then had to approve the family and the referral at the same time. Now, the family will have to be approved by IBESR before the official referral is made. That means families will not get their referral as quickly, but the time between referral and the end of the process is shorter. That’s a welcomed change. Our agency will be submitting dossiers with a match in mind, but IBESR will make the final decision on referrals after the family is approved. Our agency will not be allowed to give us any information whatsoever about the child they have matched us with until after we are approved by IBESR because they have final say.

     It’s all rather confusing, but here's the bottom line: We are one of six paperwork ready families waiting to submit our dossier, and three more families are in process. A committee will match a child with a family and determine the order of submission based on which child they think needs to come home first. We have no idea where we will fall in line, but we hope that will be determined in the next few weeks. Hopefully, the quotas will be removed soon, and we will all be on our way. The orphanages will fight hard to get the quotas removed because they need the money.  
I feel confident that IBESR will notice rather quickly that quotas will mean less money coming in, and they will work rather quickly to remedy the situation.

     Whatever happens, we are at least 6 months to a year from a referral. That sounds like a long time, and it’s a little longer than we had hoped, but it’s not about what we want. God led us to Haiti, and we’re in this for the long haul. Jeremiah 1:19 says, “They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the Lord.” This is war and we’re armed and ready. This has been one battle after another, but God never said it would be easy. We can and WILL get this done. PRAY!